Starting Over

Teaser

He was going to die.

He was going to die, and yet still he ran, his feet hitting the ground so hard with each step that it hurt. He could her them behind him, chasing, gaining and yet still he ran.

The wall was in front of him before he even saw it and he slammed into it hard, falling back and hitting the ground with an almost equal amount of force. Spots exploded in front of his eyes, but even though he couldn’t see he began to crawl. He had to escape. Had to try anyway.

He didn’t make it far before the boot heel crushed his hand, shattering his fingers. He screamed in pain but that just brought a kick to the face, which caused his mouth to fill with blood.

“Well, you certainly gave us our exercise for the day, demon.”

He spat the blood from his mouth and looked up. His vision still hadn’t cleared and all he could make out was the outline of five our six figures. He knew who they were, of course, most people in the demon world did. They’d only been around for a few months and they already had a reputation for not leaving any survivors

“Please,” he begged, “I mean you no harm. I’m not evil.”

Low laughter rang out from the group that surrounded him.

“Funny how many of them say that.” A different voice said.

“Can we kill him now?” Another asked, sounding bored. “I’m tired.”

“And I’m hungry.”

“Please! If you have any humanity in you, don’t do this.”

The complaints feel silent at this and he saw movement as one of the group crouched down beside him. He winced as a hand grabbed one of his horns roughly.

“Humanity? What would you know about that, demon?”

The first kick dislocated his jaw, the second shattered his ribs and soon the blows were coming so hard and fast that he couldn’t separate one from the other.

Five minutes later, the body that was left behind couldn’t be identified as anything more than a mound of flesh.

“That’s the third we’ve killed tonight.” One voice said as the group left the scene.

“We don’t kill.” Another corrected. “We slay.”

Act One

Xander glanced at his watch for the fourth time that morning and sighed.

“Where is she?”

Willow nibbled her lip nervously and glanced at the door of the hotel.

“I’m sure she got tied up with something really important, I told her to be here.”

“Great.” Xander muttered under his breath. “First day on the job as a Watcher and I’ve got no one to watch.”

The doors to the hotel banged open and Kennedy breezed in, her arms laden with as much shopping as she could carry.

“Where have you been?” Willow and Xander asked simultaneously, although the answer was obvious.

“I needed some new clothes.” Kennedy replied with a groan as she let her purchases drop to the ground. “What’s the big deal?”

Willow looked uncomfortably from her girlfriend who was kneading her aching muscles, to her best friend who was looking far from pleased and yet unsure how to deal with this.

“Kennedy, sweetie,” Willow began, but she was cut off by Xander.

“Leave us alone, Wills. I need to sort this out myself.” Xander snapped

Willow flinched but nodded, slipping quietly from the room and leaving Xander and Kennedy alone.

“You were supposed to be here three hours ago to start your training.” Xander said in a voice that was harsher than anything Kennedy had ever heard him use before. She raised one eyebrow and turned to face her new Watcher.

“Don’t have a heart attack or anything. I’m here now. I’ll go and put this stuff away and then I’ll be ready.”

She continued to stretch and work the kinks out of her shoulders, turning her back on Xander once again.

“That’s not good enough!”

Kennedy froze as Xander yelled at her and she turned slowly to face him once again.

“Look, Kennedy, I know things were different back in Sunnydale. I was like one of you, but I’m your Watcher now and you need to show me the same respect you showed Giles when he was training you. If I ask you to be here at ten for training then I want you here, not turning up when you feel like it.”

Kennedy laughed. “Come on Xander, lighten up. You’re only about five minutes older than me. You remember what it means to have fun, right? I get that this Slaying thing is important but there’s so many of us now it’s no big deal if I miss a training session or two.”

Xander took a deep breath, feeling like he was about to explode. Was she even listening to what he was saying? What did it take to get through to this girl?

Before he could start a fresh round of yelling Buffy and Faith wandered in, checking the kitchen area for food.

“Hey guys.” Buffy said when she finally noticed them. “How’s the training going?”

Xander lowered his eyes. “It’s not, yet.”

“I had some shopping to do.” Kennedy said with a big smile. “Want to see what I bought. I found this great shop that sells-“

“You missed your training?” Faith asked. “To go shopping?”

“I’m only a few hours late.” Kennedy replied with a frown. “It’s no big.”

Buffy and Faith exchanged a look. They had both been the same as Kennedy in one-way or another at some point. Neither of them had ever really done what their Watcher had told them. But on the other hand Xander needed their support.

“Look, Kennedy,” Faith began. “You saw in Sunnydale that you gotta have someone in charge for this team to work. Now that guy is Xander and you better do what he says or you’re going to end up dead. You might be a Slayer but you can still be killed.”

Kennedy looked over at Xander. “But what does he know? He’s not a Slayer. Why isn’t Buffy training us? She’s more qualified than he is.”

Buffy stepped forward. “Everything I know I learned from my Watcher, Kennedy, and Xander was fighting demons when you were still at Junior High. Now go and dump that stuff upstairs and get ready to start training.”

Buffy had the Commander face on that she’d has so often during the war with The First. Kennedy knew better than to argue and she silently gathered her things before heading upstairs.

When she was out of sight Xander sighed and allowed his shoulder to slump. “Great Watcher I am.”

Buffy gave a sympathetic smile and hugged her friend. “You’ll get there. I’ll come down and help with the training.”

Xander looked at Faith. “You coming to train with us? I know I’m not technically your Watcher but if you want to…”

Faith gave a small smile and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Maybe some other time, Xan. Gotta fly.”

And with that she was gone.

Buffy shrugged. “I could always shoot her with another tranquilliser.”

Xander sighed again. “No, it’s ok. I’d better go and get the training room ready.”

“I hope you have time to say hello to an old friend first.”

Buffy and Xander turned, recognising the voice instantly.

Giles was stood in the doorway of the hotel, suitcase in hand. A moment later he was almost on the floor as Buffy threw herself into his arms.

“Giles. I’m so glad to see you! I missed you. God, there’s so much I have to tell you.”

Giles hugged her back, but peered over the Slayers shoulder to look at Xander who was still standing in the lobby looking decidedly uncomfortable.

“I’m sure you have lots to tell me, Buffy. But I’d like a word with Xander first if that’s all right.”

Buffy nodded. “Sure. I’ll go get changed for the training. I’ve got this great move that I think Kennedy will love to learn.”

She darted up to her room as Giles descended the stairs.

“So, Xander. How are you finding being a Watcher?”

Act Two

Spike lay on his back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He could feel her hovering on the other side of the door. She was pacing in front of it he could tell. Every so often she would stop and grab hold of the door handle before her nerve deserted her and she resumed pacing.

Part of him wanted to go and talk to her. They had been so close during those last few days in Sunnydale. He desperately wanted it back. The rest of him, the part in charge, was absolutely terrified of setting one foot outside his room, of talking to any of the people outside, of even being around them.

The vampire felt her move away from the door closed his eyes against his disappointment. Why should she do any more for him than she already had? She had rescued him from hell. Surely it was up to him now to make a move towards her.

His eyes snapped open again at the sudden sharp rap on the door and he raised his head to watch his Slayer march determinedly into the room.

Buffy stopped at the foot of the bed, her resolve leaving her as she looked at Spike. The words she had planned died on her tongue and she blushed. They stared at each other for a while, before the Slayer began to fidget uncomfortably.

“Hi.”

Spike’s mouth quirked into a slight smile. “Hi.”

“How are you?” Buffy asked and then rolled her eyes. “Forget that. It’s a stupid question. You’ve just come back from hell. It’s not something you’re going to get over in just a few days. I just wanted to see that you were ok. I mean I haven’t seen you properly since… I know Willow said you were fine but I just needed to be sure. And now I have. So I’ll just go and let you…”

Buffy let the words trail off as she headed towards the door, berating herself with every step for being a coward.

“Buffy?”

She stopped and turned back eagerly. “Yeah?”

The vampire opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again with a shake of his head. “Nothing.”

****

Xander sat at the bottom of the basement steps, holding his head in his hands.

A week ago he had thrilled at the opportunity Giles had given him. Now he felt out of his depth.

“How are you finding being a Watcher?”

“Uh, well it’s taking some getting used to. I keep wondering when my British accent and service issue glasses are going to arrive.”

Giles grinned and brought a reassuring hand up to squeeze the younger man’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. You just need to be firm. Although as a friendly warning you should know that they can smell fear. Like dogs.”

Xander turned his head to look at the training area he, Buffy and Angel had set up for the girls. He should have known this was a stupid idea. After six years fighting evil he was still nothing, he was still the…

“Hey. What’re you doing down here on your own, Watcher-man?”

He looked up at Buffy and her bright smile faded as she saw the disappointment on his face. She sat down next to him. “Tell me.”

“Why do you think I can do this?”

“I don’t think you can do it.”

Xander felt like Giles had just punched him in the stomach. “But…?”

“I know you can. You just have to have a little faith in yourself.”

“Have you met me?”

“Xander,” Giles tone was serious and stopped Xander flow of defensive babble before it began. “You have extensive experience and knowledge, steadfast loyalty and a good heart. You have everything you need to be a good Watcher.”

“I don’t want to let you down.”

“You can’t.”

“Are you afraid of letting Giles down?”

Buffy looked down at the ground and gave a rueful smile. “I used to be. Now? Not so much. I’m more afraid of letting myself down. But that took a long, long time. And dying a couple of times. And Willow trying to destroy the world. And Giles trying to kill Spike. And...”

“Ok, ok. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“Why not?”

“Buffy come on,” Xander said standing and walking down a couple of steps so he could face her head on. “I can’t teach Slayers. I can’t even get them to turn up for their training. Kennedy…”

“Kennedy is a bitch,” Buffy interrupted with a smile. “We’re not all like her.” The smile faded. “At least I hope we’re not. Oh God! Am I like…?”

“Buffy. Focus.”

“Sorry.”

Xander sighed. “Nothing’s changed. I’m still the loser of our little group. A half blind, Slayer-less Watcher.”

“Sweetie that’s not…”

“The Zeppo.”

“The what-now?”

The young man straightened suddenly and started up the stairs. “I have to go.”

“What? Where?” Buffy shouted after him, confused.

“To see someone.”

“To see who? Xander!”

****

“Oh.”

Angel turned sharply at the exclamation, to find Xander standing in the doorway of the hospital room holding a small bunch of flowers.

“Sorry. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

The vampire shook his head. “Come in. It’s fine. I was just leaving.” He stood as Xander moved to the opposite side of the bed and laid the flowers down on the table.

“How is she?”

Angel restrained himself from snapping at the human. He absentmindedly ran his fingers over Cordelia’s right hand as he answered. “No better. No worse. But she’ll be fine.”

Xander nodded, averting his eyes from the telling caress. “Sure she will. Our Cordy’s a fighter.”

Angel stepped back suddenly. “I’ll leave you alone.” He stopped in the doorway and turned back. “Do you want a ride back?”

“If you don’t mind waiting.”

“I’ll be outside,” he said by way of answer and left Xander alone with Cordelia.

****

Willow followed Buffy through the doors from the garden into the hotel and gave a little relieved sigh as the Slayer’s enthusiastic rant against her girlfriend ground abruptly to a halt. Looking over the blonde’s shoulder, the Witch spotted Spike standing awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs.

Buffy hurried towards him. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Spike said with a brief smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Just thought it was about time I showed my face. Locking myself away isn’t going to help. Didn’t last time.”

The Slayer winced. “Last time…”

Spike shook his head. “Forget about it. Hell wasn’t worse than getting my soul back. Much.”

“Spike…”

“The sooner everything gets back to normal, the better off we’ll all be, right?”

“I…” Buffy struggled to find the right words. She so badly wanted to help him deal with what he’d been through but she hadn’t a clue where to start.

Giving a small nod Spike smiled over her shoulder at Willow and the redhead moved to join them, effectively ending their conversation. Buffy continued to watch Spike silently as he talked to Willow, wondering if things would ever be normal again.

****

“Wesley!” Xander greeted the Englishman with a smile as he entered the hotel.

“Xander.”

“I need to ask you something.”

“Of course,” Wesley said, leading Xander towards the office. “How can I help?”

“Well, Giles made me a Watcher and I’m having some trouble settling in, getting started and I was wondering if maybe you’d be able to help me out. You know, give me a few pointers. Show me what to do.”

The older man smiled. “I’ll be happy to help if I can. Not that I did that well as a Watcher. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of time at the moment. Things have been busy lately. Maybe Gunn could help you. With the training at least.

****

“No.”

“But Wesley said…”

“Yeah well, Wesley’s not in charge. And even if he was, I wouldn’t help.”

“Why not?”

Gunn grimaced at Xander. “My job is killing vampires. Not teaching little girls how to kill vampires. That’s your job.”

“But I…”

“No.”

****

“Angel?”

“Xander?”

“I…”

“What?

“Never mind.”

****

Xander sighed, momentarily hating everything for what he was about to do. He straightened his shoulders, braced himself and walked towards the couch in the centre of the lobby.

“Spike?”

The vampire didn’t look up.

“Spike? Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“What do you want Harris?”

Xander bit his tongue and counted to ten. Slowly. When he was sure he wasn’t going to say something stupid he continued. “I need your help.”

That got Spike’s attention. He looked up at Xander with a slight smirk. “Me?”

“Yes.”

“You need me? To help you?”

Xander gritted his teeth. “Yes.”

“To do what?”

Xander glanced at Buffy and Willow who had been moving towards them throughout the conversation and lowered his voice. “Can we talk in private?”

Spike followed the man’s gaze and frowned. “No.”

“Spike…”

“What could you possibly want my help with that you can’t talk about in front of…? Oh.” Spike’s eyes lit up suddenly and he grinned evilly at Xander. “I always knew you…”

“NO!” Xander shouted. “Stop! No.” He shook his head and turned away. “Forget it. I knew it was a stupid idea.”

Spike sighed and stood to follow him. “Harris, wait. I was joking. What did you want?”

“I said forget it.”

The vampire rolled his eyes and sank back down onto the sofa. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

Xander moved about five steps before he spun back round to face Spike. “I need your help with the training. I need you to help me teach the girls. To train me to train them.”

“NO!”

Spike and Xander both turned their heads to see Buffy glaring at the two of them. The vampire’s left eyebrow inched a little higher as he waited for his Slayer to continue.

“He just got back from hell,” she told Xander, ignoring the way Spike was frowning at her. “He needs rest. He needs peace. He needs…”

“Pushy little Slayers to mind their own bloody business,” the vampire in question interrupted.

Buffy spun to face him angrily. “Someone needs to look after you.”

“I don’t need a baby sitter,” he growled, standing.

“You need to take it easy for a while.”

“How would you know what I need? You’ve barely come near me since I came back.”

“I was trying to give you some space.”

“Maybe I don’t need space. Maybe I need what you needed. A good hard f…”

Spike didn’t even try to stop the hand that flew up to slap him hard across the face.

“Buffy!” he shouted as she raced from the room, closing his eyes as bile rose up in his throat. When he opened them again it was to find himself alone with Xander who was smirking at him. “What?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you going to go after her?”

“Yes. When she’s calmed down a bit. And I can be sure there aren’t any sharp objects nearby.”

Xander chuckled.

“Look if you’re just going to…”

The young man shook his head. “I’m not.” They waited in silence for a few minutes before Xander became impatient and prompted “So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to help me?”

Act 3

“I can assure you that I haven’t seen your daughter.”

Giles held the phone away from his ear as the screeching at the end of the line got louder.

“Well, I can appreciate she told you she was here but I haven’t seen her….well, next time she calls her tell her to get in touch. Goodbye.”

Hanging up the phone with a little more force than was necessary Giles sighed and crossed another name off his list.

* * *

Spike let out a low growl and flashed his fangs at the small group of girls in front of him.

“Know your enemy, that’s the key.” Xander said as her circled the girls. “Think like a vampire and you’ll know what they’re going to do and how to stop it. That’s why Spike is here. Hungry, Spike?”

He let out another growl and Xander was amazed that none of the girls even flinched. The difference between a Slayer and a Potential was right in front of him. These weren’t scared little girls, they were capable women who just needed guidance and direction.

“Ok, I want each of you to have a go at sparring with Spike and see how you do. Then we can take it from there.”

* * *

Hanging up the phone for what seemed like the hundredth time, Giles looked down at his sheet of paper. This wasn’t good. Out of twenty girls he’d contacted so far, only half had actually arrived. The rest had either lied to their parents or just said nothing and disappeared. Something wasn’t right here, and he was going to find out what it was.

Tucking the paper into his pocket he decided to go for a walk and consider what the next course of action should be.

* * *

“What do you think?” Xander asked as Spike stretched his aching muscles.

“They’re good.” Spike said, “Confident and they think fast. With the right training they might even be as good as-“

“Buffy.” Xander greeted as the blonde Slayer wandered in.

She gave him a small smile, avoiding looking at Spike altogether. “I just came to see how the training went.”

“It was good.” Xander replied. “They seemed to actually listen to what I was saying, Spike was a great help too.”

“Didn’t really do anything.” Spike mumbled, looking at his feet.

“Well, that’s good.” Buffy replied. “I better go.”

She slipped out of the door before either of the men could say anything.

“Are you going to talk to her anytime soon?” Xander demanded in a not unkind way.

“I don’t know what to say to her.” Spike replied with a sigh.

“Well, think of something.”

Act Four

“I still don’t understand why you’re here,” Kennedy told Xander as she walked beside him and Vi through the park. “Two Slayers don’t need you’re help. We’ve done this before. Go back and help the others.”

Xander just managed to stop himself from snapping at the dark haired girl. “I need to watch you’re technique. I have to find out where you’re slipping up so we can work on it.”

The look Kennedy gave him clearly said she never slipped up and the young man wished again that the Powers could have blessed him with a nice, quiet, polite Slayer.

Like Faith.

A shrill scream tore through the silence and sent the three of them hurtling across the park in seconds. Kennedy outstripped the other two quickly, but Vi was still far faster than Xander, who struggled to keep up. Kennedy turned sharply and disappeared behind some bushes, closely followed by the younger Slayer.

By the time the Watcher reached them Kennedy and Vi had already launched themselves into battle with the two large, slimy, grey demons Xander didn’t recognise. He glanced quickly around and saw three teenagers crouching on the ground nearby, shaking with fear as they watched what was happening.

In a second he was beside them, his eyes flicking over them quickly to make sure they were ok. “Anyone hurt?”

“I think, I think my leg is broken,” the smaller of the two girls told him, her hand clutching that of the boy next to her fiercely.

Xander nodded once and managed to say calmly, “It’s going to be ok. We’ll get you to a hospital,” before another scream behind him made him turn.

****

As Spike raised his hand to knock at Buffy's bedroom door it opened to reveal the Slayer herself. His carefully rehearsed words deserted him and they stared at each other for several minutes.

"I'm sorry," he murmured and Buffy relaxed slightly.

"You should be," she snapped, regretting it before the words had left her mouth. Never very good at apologies herself she wrapped her arms protectively around her waist.

Spike bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from snapping back. He took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I know, better than anyone, what you went through and I didn't mean to..."

The Slayer shook her head. "Forget it."

"I want to apologise."

"You have apologised. I know you weren't trying to... Just forget it ok?"

"Ok."

Another few minutes passed as they continued to stand there in the awkward silence.

"So things can go back to normal?"" Buffy asked, with a light Spike didn't recognise in her eyes.

Not fully understanding what she meant and not wanting to jump to any conclusions, Spike gave a wry smile. "Things are back to normal. We're fighting and then avoiding the subject."

The light in Buffy's eyes faded and before Spike had a chance to explain that he'd been joking, she withdrew completely. "I guess so," she managed grimly and closed the door firmly in his face.

****

Without stopping to think Xander launched himself at the demon, which was holding a struggling Vi off the ground by her throat. Catching it by surprise, the young man managed to push the three of them to the ground, causing the demon to release the Slayer. “Vi, move!” Xander shouted as the demon roared with anger and turned back to face Xander.

The young girl rolled away and found herself suddenly unable to do anything but watch as Xander fought the demon that had tried to kill her. Two minutes later she realised Kennedy was at her side talking to her, asking her if she was ok. She shook her head without looking at the other girl, her eyes fixed on Xander.

As the older Slayer was about to step forward to help, Xander managed to slip beneath the demon’s outstretched arm, pulled a small silver dagger from his belt and plunged it into the creature’s back. The demon roared again, this time in pain, as it fell lifelessly to the ground.

Xander stared down at it for a moment, his breathing ragged, before his eyes immediately sought out the two Slayers. “Are you two ok?”

Kennedy nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “I feel great.”

“Vi?” the Watcher asked as the younger girl remained silent. He moved towards her, watching the frightened expression on her face.

“It almost killed me.”

“It’s alright now. We’ll start training tomorrow on honing your instincts and trusting your…” He stopped abruptly as Vi threw herself into his arms.

“You saved me. I’d be dead now if you hadn’t…” she trailed off wrapping her arms around him more firmly.

After an uncomfortable moment or two, Xander gently patted her back and shifted her away from him slightly. “All part of the job.”

She smiled up at him. “I was so stupid. I’ll train harder I promise. I won’t let you down.”

He gave a self-deprecating grin and shrugged. “It was no…”

“You’re going to be a fantastic Watcher.”

****

Wesley looked up in surprise at the polite knock on the office door to find Giles leaning casually against the doorframe.

“Am I interrupting anything?” the older man asked and Wesley shook his head, waving Giles inside.

“I’m just about finished. What can I do for you?”

The Watcher smiled closing the door firmly behind him as he entered the room. “I realise we haven’t had a lot of time to talk since I arrived.”

Wesley smiled. “Things have been a bit hectic.” He frowned slightly as he picked up on the other man’s serious mood. “Has something happened?”

“We’re rebuilding the Watcher’s Council,” Giles began carefully and the younger man nodded.

“I think Xander will be fine once he’s built up a little confidence in himself.”

Giles smiled and relaxed slightly into his chair. “Yes he will. The fact that he asked Spike for help proves his determination. I have every faith in him.”

Wesley nodded again in agreement but remained silent, knowing that Xander was not what Giles had come to talk to him about.

“Something is happening,” the Watcher stated, his face grim. He grimaced slightly at his own words, as though he didn’t think they were adequate. “There are supposed to be twenty Slayers here, not including Buffy, Faith and Kennedy. Only half have arrived.”

Wesley sat forward, concerned. “Are they being taken? Killed? Do you think…? The First?”

Giles shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s possible. We need to find out and quickly.”

“I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“I need you with us.”

Wesley looked confused. “I don’t understand.”

“I need you to take your place on the Council,” Giles said seriously, looking the other man directly in the eye. “I’d like to reinstate you.”

“You want me to be a Watcher?” Wesley asked in disbelief. “But…”

“You don’t have to answer now,” the Watcher said with a faint smile as he stood. “But I will need your answer soon.”

“Rupert,” Wesley stopped him as he reached the door. “Yes.”

****

The fifteen-year-old girl stepped hurriedly off the bus and pushed her long auburn hair back from her face. She looked around, waiting for the dark haired girl she had been told would be waiting for her.

“Paula?”

The redhead turned to find a girl a few years older than herself watching her with a faint smile.

“Faith?”

The faint smile became a fully formed grin.

“No, I’m Jan. Faith couldn’t make it. I’m here to take care of you.”

Paula began to feel vaguely uncomfortable. “Mr Giles sent you? You’re a Slayer?”

“We’re all Slayers,” Jan told her, placing a hand on her back and steering her firmly towards a small black car. “We’re your new family.”

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