Waking the Dead

Teaser

The darkness faded into light as Buffy regained consciousness. Remembering what had happened moments, or perhaps hours before, she lay perfectly still staring up at the ceiling. She had failed, not only Spike but also herself. Emotional trials? What did it say about her that the Powers didn't think she was stable enough?

She thought back over what had happened that day. Riley had been… Riley. She wasn't as surprised as she had been last time at the absence of strong feelings about seeing him. She had loved him as much as she could while they were together, but seeing him again hadn't broken her heart. She had closed the door, finally, on their relationship.

Her dad however, had been less than dad-like she thought, and wondered why she hadn't noticed earlier. Clearly she still had issues with her father. She smiled softly, accepting something that had just become apparent to her. She wasn't to blame for her father's mistakes, just like she wasn't to blame for Angel's or Riley's. She was responsible for no one's actions but her own.

Which brought her nicely to her friends. Buffy grimaced. They were going to have to have that conversation again. It had been too long coming; it had felt too good saying it. She may not have Spike but she was no longer going to be controlled by people who couldn't control themselves.

And that left Angel. A wince this time at the knowledge that she was afraid of having that talk with him. "Angel, you remember what I said about cookies? Well Spike baked me and now I'm done. And I guess you won't be the one eating me after all."

Buffy snorted and quickly raised a hand to her mouth to stifle her sniggers. Why was she laughing? There was nothing remotely funny about this day.

Spike was still in hell.

Letting out a long breath Buffy pushed herself up so that she was sitting and looked around for a clock. She couldn't see one. Shaking her head she stood. Trust Angel not to have anything useful where anyone might need it, she thought a little unfairly as she made her way towards the office.

Halfway there she froze. Her heart began to pound. The hair on the back of her neck tingled in excitement.

Ever so slowly she turned around, afraid that what she wanted, what she needed so desperately to be there, wouldn't.

She could see feet poking out from behind the sofa. She stepped closer tentatively. The feet were joined to a pair of pale, muscular legs. Buffy let her eyes drift further up the body. The one she knew so well. The one she was afraid to touch in case it vanished as all her nightly dreams did.

A slight sob escaped her when here eyes fell on his face.

It was him. He was there. Spike. She hadn't failed. She'd saved him.

Se took a quick and jerky step forward and paused again, before falling to her knees beside her lover. Hesitantly she stretched out a hand to touch him. Gently, she smoothed the soft light brown curls out of his face.

"I missed you," she whispered as a tremulous smile graced her lips and three months worth of confusion disappeared in an instant. Nothing else in the world mattered now that Spike was there with her once more.

She leaned closer, drinking in the sight and smell of him.

An instant later a pair of bright blue eyes met her own.

Act One

Buffy didn't look away from Spike when the hotel doors opened behind them and the Scoobies entered, exactly as the trial's version of them had entered earlier. The Slayer reached out carefully and silently manoeuvred the vampire into a sitting position against her.

"Hey Buff," Xander called out with a wide grin when he noticed her crouching beside the sofa. "Glad to see us? What was the big emergency?"

Buffy's hold on Spike tightened, trying to protect him from whatever words Xander was about to fling out when he saw the vampire. Spike didn't move.
"Buff?" Xander said, almost hesitantly as he moved closer. "What's…? Oh my God."
The Slayer closed her eyes, one sentence repeating in her mind,

'I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry'

Could they not have five minutes peace? Would it really be too much to ask that they be given time to get used to what had happened before everyone else suddenly had to get used to it too?

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that that others had drawn closer too. Dawn and Willow now flanked Xander. Kennedy peered over her girlfriend's shoulder, while Andrew fidgeted behind Dawn.

"Buffy what did you do?" Dawn asked quietly as she knelt down beside her sister. Buffy shook her head. "I… I…"
"Spike?" Willow called out, crouching so that she was looking into his eyes. "Spike can you hear me?"
"Buffy what did you do?" Dawn demanded again, more forcefully this time.
"Nothing. Nothing bad," Buffy whispered as she started rocking the immobile Spike back and forth where they sat.

"He's not responding to anything," Xander said softly, touching her arm to try and draw her away. She shook him off. "Buffy, you're not going to be able to help him like that."

With an odd jerky motion Buffy let go of Spike's lifeless form and stood. "It was a test. There were trials. I wanted… I needed… He was in hell." She backed away from them slowly.

"Like you were?"
Willow flinched at Dawn's question, but didn't stop her. Kennedy however stepped forward to defend her girlfriend. "Back off."
"Willow doesn't need you to protect her," the young girl snapped back. "And she knows I didn't mean…"
"Well what did you mean? Cause it sounded like…"
"Hey," Xander shouted, stepping between them. "Stop. Dawn calm down. Kennedy… shut the hell up."

"Don't talk to her like that!"
"Don't tell me to calm down?"
"You're not the boss…"
"Whiny little…"
"Buffy…?"
"So stupid…."
"What were you thinking…?"

"Shut up!!"

There was silence and everyone turned to face Andrew.

"Wow it worked," he said with a smile and then shook his head. "You have to stop shouting. Look at Spike."

Everyone did.

He was sitting exactly as he had been since they entered the hotel.

"Buffy help me lift him," Willow called and frowned when she realised that Buffy had moved to the far side of the room and was sitting on the staircase, with her knees drawn up against her chest, watching them nervously.

The redhead slipped one arm around Spike and placed one of his over her shoulder, trying to pull him to his feet. "A little help Xand?"
The two of them managed to lift Spike and move him to the sofa. Willow snapped her fingers in front of his face a couple of times while Xander placed the throw from the back of the sofa over his naked form. Willow raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.
"What? It's not right for a sixteen year old to be looking at a naked man."
Willow glanced at Dawn who was as far away from Spike as Buffy was and was looking at anything except the naked vampire.

Kennedy knelt down in front of Spike and placed her hands on his knees, moving her face closer to his to peer at him. "He seems…." she waved her hand at him, "frozen."
"Spike!" Xander shouted. "Spike! Wake up buddy!"

The next few minutes were filled with the sounds of the Scoobies shouting, clapping, stamping and occasionally slapping, to try and gain Spike's attention.

Willow looked over at Buffy. "Buffy you have to tell us what happened. If we don't know what's wrong with Spike he might stay like this forever. Is that what you want?"

"Who cares what she wants?" Dawn answered when Buffy remained silent. "She brought him back. If that's the only way he gets to be here, good."
"Dawnie, that's not fair. We don't know everything," Willow tried to calm the youngest Summers girl, but Dawn wouldn't be placated.

"I know that he died and now he's here again. Which is wrong isn't it? Or is it only wrong when someone except Buffy does it?"
"Dawn…"
"Girl's got a point," Kennedy interjected.
"Hey, this isn't about you," Xander argued, standing. Kennedy stepped closer until they were practically nose-to-nose.
"You want me to kick your ass here, or outside Watcher-man?"

Willow and Dawn quickly resumed their argument, leaving Andrew to flop down lazily onto the sofa next to Spike.

"What the hell is going on?" Angel roared from the doorway where he stood with Faith. " I leave you alone for five minutes and already…"

He stopped when his eyes landed on Spike. He opened his mouth as though to speak and then shut it abruptly. He looked from Spike to Buffy and then back to Spike.

"Damn."

Act Two

For a few more moments he could only stand there, taking in what he was seeing. Willow and Xander were trying to revive the apparently naked Spike, while everyone else seemed to be bickering amongst themselves. The only silent member of the groups, aside from Spike, was Buffy. She was sat at the other end of the hotel lobby, her elbows on her knees as she stared ahead, looking at nothing.

He descended the steps and shot a glare at the arguing group, which quickly silenced them. Moving over to Spike he took a look at the motionless vampire.

"He's not responding to anything." Willow said softly. "I'm not even sure if he's in there."

Angel waved his hand in front of Spike's face.

Nothing.

"We tried that already," Xander told Angel with a grimace. The vampire ignored him. "Spike!"
"That too." Xander added, rolling his eyes as Angel tried what the rest of them had already done. He turned his attention to Willow. "Can you go inside his head? You know, like you did with Buffy?"

Willow thought for a moment and then shook her head. "I'm not sure it would work on a vampire. Even if it did I wouldn't get any sense out of him, He's obviously in shock from being in hell and that's going to make his head one seriously messed up place."

Angel left Willow and Xander discussing possible solutions and approached Buffy who still hadn't moved from her spot.

"Look, Buffy. I know I wasn't thrilled with the idea of you bringing Spike back, but now that he's here I promise I'll do everything I can to help."

Buffy blinked slowly and raised her head so that her eyes met Angel's. Then, without a word, she rose stiffly to her feet and walked away.

Angel sighed and turned back to the others. "Guess I can't blame her for being angry."

Willow gave her most reassuring smile. "She'll be ok. She's probably just in shock. Give her some time."

Angel looked back at Spike and nodded. "Yeah, she's not the only one in shock. Now let's see what we can do about waking him up."

He moved over to where the phone still sat on the old reception desk and got halfway there before he stopped.

"Maybe we should get him some clothes first."

* * *

Dawn rapped lightly on Buffy's door, waited a moment and then stepped inside. She found her sister sat on the edge of the bed, staring ahead.

"Hey." Dawn smiled, standing in front of Buffy. "I just wanted you to know that everyone is downstairs researching how to help Spike. I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

There was no response from Buffy for a moment, then her eyes fixed on Dawn.
"What do you care? I thought you wanted him to wake up on fire."

For a moment Dawn seemed unsure of what to say. Then, softly she replied. "Buffy, you know that was before I found out about the soul."

Buffy laughed. It was a low and bitter laugh that Dawn had never heard before. If she never heard it again it would be too soon.

"You never made friends with Spike again even after you found out about the soul though, did you Dawnie. You hated him, even after everything he did for us. He died knowing you hated him. No wonder he doesn't want to come back."

Dawn's face paled at Buffy's harsh words, and tears welled up in her eyes. "You blame me for the way Spike is, don't you?"

Buffy rose to her feet, no hint of warmth or reassurance in her eyes.

"You said it, Dawn."

And with that she left, slamming the door behind her. Dawn watched the empty space for a moment, and then she began to cry.

* * *

"Hey B." Faith greeted as Buffy slowly walked down the stairs. "Angel took the gang to a research party over at the law firm and I told Robin to head over that way when he gets in. But we both know I've never been the book type so, I'm on guard duty."

Buffy's eyes remained locked on Spike, and she barely seemed to register what Faith was saying. Faith gave a small smile. Her sister Slayer obviously had it bad for Spike. Under normal circumstances one of the Scoobies being hurt would bring out Strong-Leader Buffy until the problem was fixed. Seeing Spike like this seemed to have caused her to shut down. Faith placed a hand on Buffy's arm.

"He'll snap out of it. Angel will fix it."

The next thing Faith knew, Buffy's fist had connected with her jaw, sending her stumbling back.

"Don't touch me." Buffy growled. "You may think you've fooled everyone else, F, but I know you haven't changed. You're still the same cold-hearted, murdering bitch you always were."

Faith stood up straight, her face blank, determined not to let Buffy see how much her words hurt.

"I thought we were cool now."

Buffy laughed. "I told you what you needed to hear because you were useful. What's the matter? Truth hurt?"
Faith shook her head. "No, I don't buy this. You're not Buffy. Are you The First? Trying to mess with my head?"

"If I was The First could I do this?" Buffy kicked Faith hard in the stomach, sending her flying back into the wall.

"I don't want to fight you, B."

A smile curled at Buffy's lips. "You won't have to."

Faith's eyes widened as Buffy pulled a small gun from her pocket, pointing it at her.

"It's amazing what Angel leaves just lying around this place."

She fired.

Faith let out a gasp of pain and looked down. A small dart was sticking out of her chest. She reached to pull it out but her arms refused to move. Looking up she saw Buffy sauntering towards her, the image blurring in and out of focus.

When she was standing in front of her, Buffy ran her hand softly down Faith's cheek, a look of almost longing in her eyes. Then she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Faith's forehead.

"Sweet dreams." Buffy whispered. It was the last thing Faith heard before she passed out.

As Faith crumpled to the floor Buffy moved back over to Spike and waved her hand in front of his face.

"You in there?"

No response.

Buffy smiled. "Guess you won't mind coming with me then."

Hoisting him over one shoulder, Buffy moved over to the hotel entrance to the sewers. A few moments later, the only people left in the hotel were a weeping Dawn and an unconscious Faith.

Act Three

"We should probably have thought of it sooner," Willow muttered from the back seat of Angel's black convertible as they made their way back to the hotel.
"You think?" Kennedy asked from her place beside her girlfriend, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"All that reading," Andrew moaned, wriggling uncomfortably until the Slayer elbowed him in the ribs.
"Hey, what were the chances that it would be a hitchhiker demon?" Xander asked, ignoring Angel's look of disgust.
"Considering that's what it was last time?" Kennedy asked disbelievingly.
"It's rare that we ever fight the same thing twice," Xander told her, ignoring her tone. "That's how we've gotten so good at the research."
"Let's just hope Spike and Buffy and the others are ok," Andrew said, bringing an end to the bickering.

Xander and Willow exchanged a worried look.

Angel stepped harder of the gas.

****

"Buffy!" Willow called out as she pushed open the doors to the hotel. "Buffy we worked it out. You'll never believe…"

She stopped as she caught sight of Faith across the room and rushed towards her. "Faith? Faith!" she shouted, kneeling down beside the unconscious Slayer. The redhead firmly but gently pulled the dart from Faith's chest and stood as Xander appeared at her side. "Can you lift her?"

Xander scooped Faith into his arms and carried her across the lobby to sofa.
"Is she ok?" Andrew asked, concerned and Willow nodded.
"I think so. Just unconscious." She lifted the dart so the others could see. "Tranquilliser."
"Why would anyone do that?" Kennedy asked.

Willow looked at Angel who had moved closer to Faith and was running a gentle hand over her hair. He looked up suddenly and glanced around the lobby. "Where are Spike and Buffy?"

Xander and Willow raced up the stairs, both calling their friends' names as they started searching rooms, while Kennedy walked over to check the office.

"They're not here," Angel said, his face hardening as he moved away from Faith.
"How do you know?" Andrew asked intrigued and unsure of what to do.
"I can't feel them."

****

Willow found Dawn.

The young girl was lying on the bed in the room where Buffy had left her, curled up in a ball, her arms wrapped around her knees.

"Dawn sweetie, what's wrong?" the redhead asked as she approached and laid a comforting hand on Dawn's shoulder.
"Am I bad?" she whispered and Willow's eyes widened in surprise.
"Of course you're not bad honey. Where did you get that idea?"
"Buffy blames me for the way Spike is," Dawn told her and the young Witch frowned.
"Buffy said that?"
Dawn nodded and moved to wrap her arms around Willow. "She said it wasn't surprising he doesn't want to be here, knowing how much I hate him."

Willow hugged Dawn tighter. "Sweetie, Buffy's going through a very stressful time right now. It's common for people to lash out and say things they don't mean. You do know she didn't mean what she said."
"Of course she meant it," Dawn argued sitting up and facing the other girl squarely. "That's why she left me with you all summer. She hates me. I'm just a chore to her now. And I never forgave Spike like she did. So I'm obviously the bad guy."
"Dawn stop. You are not bad. You are not mean. And Buffy is…"

"Gone," Xander announced from the doorway, startling the two girls. "We've searched every room. They're gone."
"What's going on?" Dawn asked as she followed Xander and Willow from the room.
"Someone or something took Buffy and Spike," Xander explained. "Whoever did it shot Faith with a tranquilliser and then made off."

"Who would want to do that?" Kennedy asked, catching Xander's final statement as he, Willow and Dawn made their way downstairs.
Angel grimaced. "Any number of people. Buffy's still the Slayer. And Spike is a Master Vampire. It could be demons, demon hunters, bounty hunters…"
"Or just your average psycho kidnapper," Andrew added.
"I think whoever it was must have been human," Xander offered and the others shot him simultaneous questioning looks. "Surely if it was a demon it would have just killed Faith, not drugged her. And a bounty hunter would probably have taken her with him."
"Which leaves us demons and psychos," Kennedy summed up with a humourless smile.

"Buffy…"
Everyone turned at the sound of Faith's raspy voice coming from the sofa. Angel was beside her in a moment.
"Shhh. Just relax," he said taking her hand. "We'll find Buffy. Don't worry."
Faith shook her head. "It was Buffy."

The others stared at her.

"What?" Angel asked quietly.
"Buffy shot me," Faith croaked and then began to cough violently. Andrew poured her a glass of water and passed it to her.
"It was Buffy?" Willow asked incredulously. "But why would she…?"

Suddenly several things fell into place and Willow smacked a hand against her forehead at her stupidity.
Xander frowned at her. "What's wrong Will?"
"The hitchhiker demon. It's in Buffy."

****

Spike's body shifted from side to side as the stolen car sped through the streets of LA. He stared blankly ahead, making no movement of his own volition.

The demon wearing Buffy's body glanced over at him and an evil grin spread slowly across the Slayer's face.

She - she would have to get used to being a she - was free.

The demon laughed and Buffy's hand reached out to turn up the volume on the radio.

Things were looking up.

Act Four

"I should have realised." Dawn sniffled, wiping her face with her hands while the rest of the gang gathered weapons.

"None of us did." Faith answered. "There was no way you could have known."

"Um…how do you know where they are?" Andrew piped up from his seat beside Faith. He was trying to stay out of the flurry of activity going on around him and hoping that they weren't going to ask him to get involved with fighting Buffy.

Wood walked in at that moment and heard Andrew's question. "The law firm is running a location spell on Spike. Buffy…I mean the thing in her body must be with him."

Dawn sniffed again. "Buffy's still in there, right? I mean if we get rid of the demon she'll be Buffy again."

Nobody answered. Truth was they knew little about this demon, or what it had done to Buffy. They just had to hope and pray that she was alright.

"I still don't get why that thing took Spike. Do you think it wants to mate with him?"

Willow shook her head. "If the demon came from hell with Spike, it's probably linked to him somehow. It doesn't want us to risk waking him up in case it breaks the link."

"So if we manage to kill the demon, Spike will wake up?" Dawn asked hopefully. The words the creature in Buffy's body had spoken were still hurting her.

Willow shrugged. "I really don't know Dawnie, but it should. Right now we have to find Buffy."

"Let's go." Angel announced, walking into the lobby. "They're in a motel on the edge of town. Andrew, stay here and keep an eye on Faith."

"Hey!" Faith protested, struggling to her feet. "No way I'm missing out on this. Gimme a weapon and I'll-"

She let out a groan as the last of her strength left her and she fell back onto the seat. Wood hurried over as Andrew passed her a glass of water.

"I'm ok." Faith said softly as her lover ran his hands over her face, his eyes filled with concern. "Go and help Buffy."

Wood nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

Buffy stared at herself in the mirror. An attractive face, for a human anyway. She could get used to this body very easily. Something about this girl was different. She could feel strength that wasn't usual for a human, and it felt good.

She left the bathroom and smiled as she saw Spike lying stretched out on this bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. A pity he was so silent, his company could get boring after a while. It was necessary though.

A knock at the door caused her to flinch. Automatically her eyes moved to Spike and then to other possible exit points. She had to be on her guard for the next few days until she got far away from this city and the risk of being caught.

"Miss, we need you to sign a receipt for your room."

Buffy relaxed and moved over to the door to open it. She jumped back when she saw Willow, Angel, Xander, Wood and Dawn stood in front of her.

"Bit rude to skip town before we've been properly introduced." Angel said.

"Angel? What are you talking about? It's me, Buffy."

He merely nodded at Willow who stepped forward and extended her hand, pointing it at Buffy.

"Willow?" Buffy asked, fear in her eyes. "What are you doing? Have you gone evil again?"

Willow began chanting lowly under her breath, sparks igniting at the tips of her fingers.

The demon hissed in pain as it felt itself being torn from its new body.

"Willow, please, you're hurting me."

The pulling sensation only increased, the pain becoming unbearable now.

"Stop….please…stop…."

A white light engulfed Buffy and Dawn had to cover her ears at the sound of her sister screaming.

'It's not Buffy, it's not Buffy.' She told herself over and over.

The light faded and Buffy stood in the middle of the motel room, panting for breath.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, moving forward.

"Wait." Angel instructed, holding onto her shoulders and stopping her from moving any closer.

Willow closed her eyes. "Release."

Buffy threw her head back and screamed, an agonising sound that caused the whole group to flinch. They could only watch as a grey mist emerged from Buffy's body, growing thicker and thicker until the demon that had been inhabiting her body stood beside her. Buffy let out a soft sigh and collapsed, the demon catching her before she could hit the ground.

"Fools." The creature rasped, lifting Buffy up and cradling her in its arms. "You should have let me be."

Angel moved forward, weapon in hand.

"Come any closer, vampire, and I'll kill her."

He stopped, the rest of the group not moving either.

The demon looked down at Buffy and smiled. "At least I managed to escape hell, that is something I suppose."

Buffy's eyes suddenly snapped open.

"Guess I should send you back then."

Before anyone could react she reached up and wrapped her hands around the demons neck, snapping it with one easy twist. She let out a yelp as the demon collapsed, taking her with it.

"I probably should have got him to put me down first." She groaned, climbing to her feet.

Dawn almost knocked her down again as she ran at her sister and hugged her.

"Buffy, you're ok!"
Buffy smiled and hugged her sister back, stroking her hair.

"I'm fine Dawnie. I'm sorry for what that thing said to you."

"It's ok. I should have realised it wasn't you."

Buffy pressed a kiss to her sister's forehead and then moved back, walking over to the bed to look down at Spike. His eyes still stared vacantly at the ceiling.

"I don't understand." Willow said as the rest of the group gathered around the bed. "Killing the demon should have woken him."

Buffy closed her eyes, tears sliding out from beneath her lids.

"Let's take him home." She said softly. "And then we can decide what to do."

* * *

Buffy could hear the group talking in hushed whispers outside her room. They had left her alone with Spike while they discussed other ways of getting him to wake up. She wasn't stupid though, they were running out of ideas and pretty soon there were only going to be two options left.

Leave him like this or stake him.

What sort of choice was that? It was like asking someone if they wanted to lose an arm or a leg.

She moved over knelt down in front of Spike who was sat in a chair beside the bed. She reached up and brushed a hand over his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Spike. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I could have told you the truth about how I feel."

She tried her hardest not to cry, but couldn't prevent the tears from falling.

"I love you, Spike. I don't know when it happened but I do. I just wish you could hear me say it."

She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before burying her face in her hands and allowing herself to mourn.

"Buffy?"

Her head snapped up at the soft voice and she almost tumbled over backwards. Spike was looking at her, not just staring ahead but looking at her. There was concern in his eyes and an equal amount of confusion.

"Why are you crying? And where am I?"

Buffy shook her head and reached up to pull him into a careful embrace, a tremulous smile on her lips.

"It's doesn't matter, Spike. None of it matters."

Starting Over